Homeschooling Sacramental Preparation

A letter I wrote last year to parents who bring their children to atrium for faith formation who want to do all sacramental preparation at home and not participate in the 5 additional meetings outside of regular atrium time and the retreats.

I reiterate: each family has a choice; each family has the primary responsibility for the bringing up of the children in that family and of the ongoing care of the members of that family. This letter is shared for those homeschool families also utilizing the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium as a portion of their child's faith formation upbringing, so as to provide the fullest possible information for the family to make a fully informed decision for their own personal family situation.

The special sacramental preparation sessions are outside the atrium but are an integral part of the atrium experience. Sacramental preparation is an optional experience only in that it is reserved for those children preparing for reception of the First Sacraments – thus a 6 year old or an 8 year old (or any age) may attend, at their personal readiness. The sessions are separate so that the children preparing to receive their sacraments can have their special, focused time of more direct and intense preparation.

While respecting the right and the opportunity to homeschool our children – in academics, in the faith, in all manners of life – something to consider when placing your child in an atrium for a community experience of faith formation is that the sacramental preparation work is not presented during normal atrium sessions, thus the children will not have the opportunity to work with the appropriate materials, which their peers are working with. Children may only work with a material once it has been shared with them; another child may certainly share the material, but the depth of the meditation happens in a discussion with the catechist. 

The concepts and symbols introduced during sacramental preparation are assumed to be experienced by those children returning to atrium after receiving the sacraments of Reconciliation and First Holy Communion. New older children coming into the atrium are sometimes given presentations so they understand the symbology, the connections, the build-up into the depth of our faith; we hope to return to these sacramental preparation meditations again and again, for a deeper exploration, but many times, there is not enough time and these older children, while gaining much from the atrium, do not receive the fullest possible experience. I personally invite all older new-to-atrium children to also join the sacramental preparation sessions - are we not always in need of preparing ourselves to more and more deeply receive the Sacraments? 

Your home preparation can, should and must continue. It will be different from the atrium experience, providing your child with a much fuller faith life, appreciation for family formation and, when done in conjunction with the atrium, appreciation for community formation. 

Sacramental Preparation: Reflections

I'll say it upfront: the ideal retreat layout is ideal for a reason - because it works.

However, in the United States, we have this tendency to think that we are so special, that what works for the universal child can't possibly work for our special American kids. We must always be modifying-modifying-modifying.

I say that entirely seriously - we truly believe that about ourselves and about our children! I catch myself doing it. all. the. time. It annoys me to no end, yet I'm indoctrinated into it because this country is my earthly home.

Reality-Check: Multiple Parishes and Dioceses:
With that said, the atrium situations I am in right now, I am not ready to rent out a retreat center for 4 long days (the ideal) and try to coordinate across several parishes (since one of the dioceses I am in requires 1st sacraments to be done in one's own parish - just about ZERO exceptions --- CGS experience would not be an acceptable exception) and three dioceses.

With the variety of parishes the children attend, some children did Reconciliation in December, some in January, 1-2 in February, the rest in March or more likely April. First Holy Communion will be in early May for just about everyone due to the Lenten/Easter schedule this year. So if we could have coordinated Reconciliation, we MIGHT have been able to coordinate retreats with Communion - but no, because the parents want family time the weekend of First Holy Communion.


The Retreats:
The ideal: 4 full days leading up to and including the Sunday of receiving First Holy Communion. Thursday, Friday, Saturday 8am-8pm (or so) and Sunday from before Mass until several hours after Mass, returning to the atrium or the retreat area for a post-communion reflection. The children LOVE this experience! Parents not so much - because we (I include myself in this!) want the fancy dress/suit, the pictures afterward, the party, the celebration - the outer JOY! to express our inner joy.

Should this time of sacramental celebration be focused on the child's reception - internal growth in the faith? Savoring that spiritual moment and not clogging it up with outer signs of joy?


Our Experience:
In a way, my son's experience was sublime in that regard. His first Reconciliation was with a wonderful priest friend (and spiritual director) of ours, who traveled across the country (for other reasons) and coordinated hearing Legoboy's first reconciliation in our local/geographical parish (where he attended CGS, but we were not members). We were within our own diocese, and within our geographical parish's boundaries - but not at the parish of our membership and not with the priest associated with a local parish. We received all the appropriate permissions - and it was a quiet day, with no one else present in the church. We went out to lunch together afterward - just the three of us.

Focus on the spiritual.

He did the one-day sacramental preparation retreat with his atrium group - a week before they did their First Holy Communion (he did not receive there because he was waiting for another particular special day that was upcoming.... see below). This was his second reconciliation and he had a unique experience at that retreat day.

For First Holy Communion, he received at the cathedral in a neighboring diocese where his Godfather was being ordained a priest. There was no announcement, no banner, no pew decoration, no mention in the bulletin (although his name was mentioned for something else I think), no party for "him" afterward though we had a quiet reception of a few gifts from Godfather at one point and the priest friend from above at another time (he also heard my son's confession again before the ordination Mass began).
We received all the necessary permissions there as well. Intricate to plan, but quiet for the child.

Focus on the spiritual.

He LOVED it.

We had a small party in our home the following day for local friends and parishioners from our parish. Two weeks later, we had his party in another state with the rest of our friends and family. He enjoyed the parties and everyone enjoyed sharing this moment with him.

But the focus on the "day of" was on the sacrament itself.

As it should be.


The White Garment:

The "ideal" in CGS is for the children to wear their white garments received after Reconciliation on Saturday - to their First Holy Communion on Sunday. No fancy dress or suit; everyone dressed in a long white flowing garment - think something like altar servers.

I like the concept.

But honestly - I like the dress-up too! This year, I am blessed with the opportunity to make a beautiful veil for a wonderful young lady receiving her sacraments for the first time. I have not seen her dress, but I am sure it is lovely - and special - worn by others in her family before her.

There is something special about having that connection with our immediate family AND with the universal church. I don't know if *I* could give that up for the sake of the children wearing a simple white garment during their First Holy Communion Mass.

But the children get it. White garment - all the parables, all the teaching, Baptismal garments, etc. White garment. Unstained. They GET it. They go deep with it.

I have a tough time with this one - I see the benefit both ways - and I want to do it both ways!

Sacramental Preparation: Ceremony of Intention

Getting ready for sacramental preparation each year, every atrium has a different procedure - some are tied to a parish, some are tied to schools, some are entirely independent; the children are coming from different situations; a priest may or may not be involved and/or on a variety of levels.

Our Friday homeschool atrium has families from two parishes: one is a Traditional Latin Mass parish, with a priest from the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP); the other parish is/are/was the local Novus Ordo parish(es) - sort of. Anyway, it all gets complicated to explain, but the families are all SO involved with their children and love the atrium, that it all just works itself out, in most cases.


Of our 3 children preparing for the sacraments of First Holy Communion and First Reconciliation, 2 children are TLM and one is NO. Due to the nature of our atrium, we do not have a particularly associated priest for this group, so I was thinking, "What could we do for the ceremony of intention that brings these children together, but still involves a larger community?"


The result for THIS year:
(note: the parents could have been involved - if I'd planned this sooner and there weren't a ton of little ones and intricate transportation arrangments ;) )

All children in our atrium gathered around the prayer table. I sat at one end of the horseshoe with a table of candles next to me. They had each brought the dates of their baptisms (and first reconciliation and FHC if appropriate), along with any pertinent photos to commemorate the day(s).

We recalled the reason why we come to atrium (first answer from a 10 year old: "to learn how to set our hair on fire!" at which point I remembered to distribute hair ties to those with long loose hair (me included!) and those with loose long sleeves --- the better answer: to more fully deepen our understanding of our faith through our relationship with the Holy Trinity, most specifically Jesus Christ Himself.)

We then recalled the season of Advent - a time of preparation, not for the first Coming of Jesus, but for what?

• to receive the gifts He gave us with His first coming
• and to deepen the reception of those gifts, spreading His light in preparation for the second coming

What are those gifts of His first coming? His Light and His Life. 

The world received His light as a gift (light the Paschal Candle) - but each person must come forward to receive it. 

When did you each receive the gift of His light? 

The children came forward with a lit candle, the date of their baptism and placed any photos they had.

"Children" is, by definition, in this post, referring to all the Children of the Light - yes, the adults came forward as well. 

Is it always easy to keep this light shining?

Recall the Good Shepherd (for all the children). Recall the True Vine (for those who have already prepared). We have weaknesses, we have blockages, we can become lost. Jesus wants us to REMAIN, He wants us to be found again by Him. 

How are we to be found? By the gift of Reconciliation. 

Each of those who have received this gift, came forward with a light. 

Those who are preparing, came forward with an unlit candle.
(other children remained seated)

And when our Lights are shining - when our souls are truly ready, we can receive a profound gift: the Life of the Good Shepherd Himself - the life of Him who lays down His own life to fight that evil that would ensnare us in sin. 

Each of those who have received this gift, came forward with a light. 

Those who are preparing, came forward with an unlit candle.

And we sing our song: 

Create in me a clean heart - 

Help me start over again. 

Please Lord don't leave me, 

I need your Spirit, 

I cannot make it alone. 

Restore to me the Joy of Salvation - 

Oh my God. 

Yes, Advent is the perfect time for sacramental preparation to begin. Why again do we wait until January in most cases?


We left the table to quietly work the rest of our time together. The overhead lights were only on in the other half of the atrium so the focus would be on the light of Christ spreading through all those sacraments received by the "children" in our atrium. If just our own sacraments could spread that much light - how much more within the universal Church? 

The Vine Stretching Out

During a True Vine meditation - only on part 1 !!

Using the example of temptation with a cookie jar of one's favorite cookies inside - you're hungry - but mom says "no cookies until after dinner" (which isn't anywhere near ready yet).

We talked about the vine dresser caring for the vine, running his fingers along the tendrils. But remember - this is part 1 - we've not talked about blockages!

An astute young lady explains that when her arm is reaching - stretched out - reaching - reaeaeaching for that cookie jar, her vine is curling all up on itself and she's not reaching out to other people and live her life in full joy as the Good Shepherd wants.

But when she fights temptation and pulls her hand back (she shows how her hand curls up to herself), her branch of the vine is actually streeeeeeeetching out - because the sap is flowing through it and making it grow - grow - GROW - and stretch.

And then she can reach out to other people.


Wow.

Love this kid.

Love atrium.

All Faith Formation is Sacramental Preparation

Everything we do to explore our faith, to make it ours, to deepen it, to strengthen it, is preparation for reception of the sacraments.

Every Sacrament is a sharing in the Life, Death and Resurrection of Christ.
And what is the Life, Death and Resurrection of Christ, but the Paschal Mystery?

This photo taken from so far away, cropped from a much larger photo
Amazing what cheap cameras can do these days ;)

To prepare for this Paschal Mystery participation, we have to LIVE the faith of our ancestors: the Hebrews - longing for the Savior. Preparing to receive Him by listening to the words of the Prophets.

The people who walked in darkness have seen a Great Light.

The Hebrews had many dark times in their history; we too have dark times in our lives. There is always hope: the Light of Christ.


Previous post on "Prophets of the Lord"


As we spend this Advent preparing for the SECOND coming of the Lord, we can see in the prophecies clues to His first coming as well as clues to His second coming. We can see both the messianic message - and the moral message: how to prepare our hearts to receive Him, both in the sacraments and when He comes at Parousia.

"In the wilderness (of our own hearts), Prepare THE way for the Lord!"

The True Vine

I have always loved this material, seen in an atrium in Cleveland.

Can anyone make one like it? (BIG SMILE!?)

If you can do it, but it will be a while, please contact me - but it would be nice to have something sooner rather than later....

UPDATE: I can make this myself; if I could find miniature grapes for less than $25 for 12 tiny bunches. And I thought REAL grapes were expensive!